On our way to pursuing our dreams and achieving our goals, we will inevitably have to do things we find difficult. As a person who still sometimes finds simple phonecalls challenging, I’ve come up with a way to shift my mindset and motivate myself to get through challenging tasks. I’ll share them here and illustrate them on an example of going to an interview for a new job.

Why am I doing this?

I ask myself this question to determine why it’s important to get this task done. What will I gain by finishing this task? What is the cost of not getting it done? This creates motivation to get the task done and clarity on why it’s necessary.

I’m applying for this job because I’m unhappy in my current job, I’m not working on things I’m passionate about, I don’t align with the culture and people of the company, and I don’t have a salary corresponding to my skills and contributions. If I don’t go to this job interview, I’ll stay in my current circumstances. If I do go, I’ll create a chance for myself to work a job I’m passionate about, that I’m excited to do, with people who align with me, and I’ll be fairly rewarded for the work I do.

What could go wrong and how will I respond?

Often the resistance I feel towards getting something done is caused by a subconscious fear of it going wrong in some way, and fear of the unknown and the need to quickly respond to an unexpected situation. I lessen this feeling by consciously specifying what I’m afraid of happening. I try to come up with as many things as possible, to lessen my fear of getting into an unfamiliar situation. Then I decide how I’d deal with each one of the situations I came up with, which will make me feel more prepared and in control and less scared.

I’ll misunderstand the questions they ask me at the interview and I’ll feel embarassed. → I’ll take my time with answering and if I’m unsure about what they’re asking, I’ll ask them to clarify, without feeling shameful about it.

I’ll find out this job isn’t right for me and I’ll feel like I’ve wasted my time. → Even then I’ll instead focus on the fact that I went to the interview, that I learned from the experience, and that I’ve gained more clarity on the type of job I want to keep searching for.

I’ll like the job but they won’t hire me → If the job was right for me, I’d be hired. I’ll be patient and wait for the right job to appear.

I’ll find out my skills aren’t as good as I thought they were → I’ll do my best and remember than I can always learn more, and be grateful for a clearer idea of how deep my skills actually are and where I can improve.

What is the best possible outcome?

This will shift my mindset to be more positive – instead of focusing on all that could go wrong, I’ll become aware of how things could go well.

I’ll do well in the interview, I’ll feel proud of how I presented myself and my skills, I’ll feel like I communicated and responded well. I’ll feel that the job aligns with the values I’m looking for. I’ll get hired, I’ll be excited to start working there, and I’ll be happy about getting enough money to be able to afford buying beautiful things for my apartment and home office, and to go travel.

How will I feel after I’ve done it?

This is one of the most effective ways I motivate myself to do difficult things. In its essence, the resistance I feel towards doing something is caused by a fear of feeling bad. But I also feel bad before I even do the task, I’m putting pressure on myself to do it, I’m criticising myself for taking too long and having too much difficulty with it. In contrast with that, after I’ve done the task, I feel a huge sense of relief and pride in myself that I’ve done it. Even if the outcome of the task isn’t good, I still feel good that I’ve done it. Comparing the feelings I feel before and after motivates me to do the task and start feeling better.

I’ll feel relived, proud of myself for going to the interview, and I’ll feel integrity because I’ve followed up on my promise to myself that I’ll do all I can to find a job I’m happy at.

What is the right time and place to do this task? How can I prepare for it?

I’ll create space for completing the task. I’ll make sure I’m at my optimal mental energy level and I’ll set up my environment so that I can focus and won’t be interrupted.

I’ll schedule the job interview during a time where I have no meetings right before or after, when people don’t message me, or I’ll do it on my day off. If I do the interview online, I’ll turn off my notifications, clean up my surroundings so that they don’t distract me, I’ll wear clothes that give me confidence, and I’ll test out my electronics to prevent technical issues.

Surrender the outcome to the universe

This is a mental exercise I do before doing difficult tasks whose outcome is important but can’t be fully controlled. After preparing for the task as best I can, I let go of control and focus on surrendering the outcome to the universe. I believe that the universe has my best interest at heart, so no matter what the outcome is, it’s for my best. If the outcome is how I wished it would be, I’ll feel happy and grateful. If the outcome is different than I wanted, I’ll see it as a growth opportunity and trust that it’s all leading me to where I’m meant to go. This faith relieves a big amount of pressure from my shoulders. Another belief that I’ve experienced as true is that attachment to the outcome can hinder it, so by letting go, I’m creating space for the best possible result.

I’ve prepared for this job interview the best I could and now I surrender the outcome to the universe, and I trust it’ll be for my highest good.

Find an accountability partner

I find it helpful to ask someone I trust to keep me accountable to get a task done. When there’s someone else involved, it gives me more motivation to get the task done, because if I don’t, I’m not only disappointing myself, but also someone else, and when I do get it done, someone else will be proud of me, tell me I did well, and in case the outcome of the task isn’t what I wished, my accountability partner will be able to be there for me and comfort me.

I’ll tell my best friend about going to the job interview, tell them when it’s happening and ask them to think of me while it’s happening, and agree on a time when we’ll talk about how it went.

We are much stronger than we think we are. Reaching our goals and dreams will require taking challenging action, but it’s worth it, and I believe in you.

With love, Ro 🤍